Since I was five years old, I’ve stayed pretty quiet in emotionally charged situations and many social situations. I’m so good at it by now that it’s difficult to do otherwise.
Oh, there are so many reasons to stay quiet:
• All options stay open
• No one can complain about what you said
• You can’t be wrong
• You can’t make a fool of yourself
• No one can challenge your view
• You can’t be wrong
• If you are misunderstood, it’s their mistake, not yours
• And, most importantly, you can’t be wrong!
The downside of this, which I finally see with crystal clarity, is that it is shortsighted. Like what they say about doughnuts, “A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips,” staying quiet trades a moment of safety for a lifetime of disconnection…from self and others. Yeah, disconnection from self and others. I’m done with that! The reason to express yourself is to express yourself, to show up in your own life. You clarify who you are and what you value to yourself and to the people around you. And act of risk-taking in revealing your self is very bonding with the right people. Some people will “get” you and some won’t. You might as well sort that out up front and keep moving. Staying quiet about your truth is like storing yourself in a deep freeze.
It is taking some time for me to find my way to new reflexes and flowing words. That’s OK; quick or slow, smooth or awkward… I know I’m pointed in the right direction. No one but me can occupy my space in the world and I intend to do it full out.
Tags: being wrong, disconnection, Quiet person, self-expression
February 2, 2010 at 5:43 pm |
Applause, applause!
It takes a lot of guts to say what you think but the relief after saying it is worth the price.
Thank you.
February 4, 2010 at 8:01 pm |
Janet, I celebrate seeing your blog and like learning more about you and receiving the many gifts you have to offer others
Sincerely,
Jeff Brown
February 4, 2010 at 10:36 pm |
Congrats on this wonderful bold and lving step forward. So exciting to hear your voice in this way!